Another ending…
I just found out that my grandmother died earlier today. I was never close to her for some reason, even though I learned a lot from her when I was a child.
This means I have to go to the funeral. I haven’t gotten over my other grandmother’s death and funeral yet and I think it will be really hard for me to go. I just can’t handle my feelings when it comes to old people, death and funerals, I just can’t.
And it will be hard to see my family as well. We don’t talk about feelings (sorrow or love) in our family, ever. It feels like I have to put on a hard face to maintain our non-feelings relationship. And I don’t want to be the one to teach them how wrong it is. Of course, I talk and cry to my mom when I’m depressed and everything, but it’s not the same. Everything is so complicated and I don’t know how to take it all in and how to react. Frustrating.
I´m so sorry for your loss. And I can completely relate to your situation. I hate funerals, I buried my Gran and Mum within 2 weeks last year and I am deeply damaged. Not to be able to talk about stuff buried in your soul can be fatal. I hope you have dear friends and people around you who are able to catch you.
mina tankar går ut till dig vännen, vet hur jobbigt det är med begravningar. *kram*
Det låter sjuuuuuuuukt lockande, men är det inte dyrt att åka dit? Eller man kanske kan komma undan med en tusenlapp kanske?
I’m sorry to hear about your loss:S I don’t think you should worry so much about how you’re going to react. Just do what you think is right.
Jag beklagar låter så futtigt men det är ju så man säger, fast ord egentligen inte räcker till när det gäller någons död. Jag beklagar i alla fall. *kram*
Pretty nice post. I just came across your blog and wanted to say
that I’ve really enjoyed reading your posts. Anyway
I’ll be subscribing to your blog and I hope you write again soon!
sorry malin, i can fully understand your sadness. hope your grandmom will live comfortably again in heaven. but what I wanna say that not necessarily your family had less sadness than you did simply because they do not like express feeling as you said. mutual understanding is so important. just try to do it then maybe you will feel better. to keep smiling everyday.
[...] The funeral went fine today. I could hold back the tears burning in my eyes while I was counting squares on the floor while the priest held the speach. [...]