Category: Life
Comments (8) 
Another ending…
By Malin, June 17, 2009 20:17
I just found out that my grandmother died earlier today. I was never close to her for some reason, even though I learned a lot from her when I was a child.
This means I have to go to the funeral. I haven’t gotten over my other grandmother’s death and funeral yet and I think it will be really hard for me to go. I just can’t handle my feelings when it comes to old people, death and funerals, I just can’t.
And it will be hard to see my family as well. We don’t talk about feelings (sorrow or love) in our family, ever. It feels like I have to put on a hard face to maintain our non-feelings relationship. And I don’t want to be the one to teach them how wrong it is. Of course, I talk and cry to my mom when I’m depressed and everything, but it’s not the same. Everything is so complicated and I don’t know how to take it all in and how to react. Frustrating.
Again and again
By Malin, May 4, 2009 23:51
I’m home from work today. I’ve been depressed on and off for several weeks and today I kind of crashed again. I have no reason to be depressed at all. It’s just so fucked up. I took a Sobril (A benzodiazepine used in the treatment of anxiety, alcohol withdrawal, and insomnia. Sobril is a drug which is a benzodiazepine derivative. It possesses relatively weak anxiolytic, anticonvulsant, sedative and skeletal muscle relaxant properties.) at work, cried a bit in front of one of my bosses and went home. I actually thought that the Sobril didn’t work on me this time until several hours later when I just fell asleep in my bed. And wow, it was a nice sleep. I didn’t even hear when the mail arrived or remember when I talked to my mom.
All day I’ve been trying to get a hold of someone who could allow me to raise my medicine dose. No luck. I’m not going to the emergency to sit there and wait for at least 6 hours before I could see a doctor like last time. That alone could make anyone crazy. So I’ll have to call the nearest care centre when they open tomorow to see if there is a doctor that can take me in the same day.
I started working again at the end of January after being home for 6 months because of this, and I can’t really believe that it is here again even if it’s not as bad as it were then. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I just want to be able to work and have a normal life like everyone else.
Downsizing
By Malin, April 21, 2009 21:43
It started with my most recent piercing in my ear, it got infected over and over and it doesn’t really help that I wear a headset at work all day long, I think that was the problem. So I took it out yesterday.
And this evening I downsized my both earlobes from 8mm to 1,6mm. I will probably regret it tomorrow. But it felt right at the moment. I wonder if they will shrink down totally or just stay big. They doesn’t look pretty now anyway!
On another note, I had a pretty nice evening with my coworkers. We went for a walk and then made a barbecue. My dog was with me as well and I think he really enjoyed the leftovers!
I’m really thankful that my job set these things up because I don’t know anyone in this city and I don’t really socialize with anyone outside work. I have a hard time making new friends these days!
Now I’m super tired so I should probably crawl to bed so I get up for work tomorrow.
One early morning
By Malin, February 22, 2009 14:38
Take a look at the picture below that I took one early morning this week before going to work. Besides that both me and the dog look like crazy freaks I think it turned out quite funny!
I always go up a little bit earlier than I have to so I can relax and cuddle a little extra with the dog before I leave. It might be hard sometimes to go up earlier than you need but I’ve noticed that it has been good to me. I really need to stop stressing around!
I’m soon on my way to work again (yes on a Sunday). But I’m taking the puppy out for a little play in the snow before I leave…
Ps. I got some stuff for sale over here.
Just because…
By Malin, February 19, 2009 00:53
Maia just notified me that I was boring since I haven’t been updating here in forever. I’ve been quite busy with things lately. I’m now back to working 80% again (it’s my first week) and I have to say it is really eating up all my strength. Coming back after a sick-leave is never easy. But I hope everything will go well and that I manage to cope with it all.
I’m also busy with my web and graphic design course. I’m not putting my heart and soul in to it since it might be too much with work and a course. But I’m hanging in there, plus – it’s quite fun and interesting. I’ve learned a lot about Illustrator CS4 so far. I’m more of a Photoshop girl.
And yeah! If you are reading this in your feed-reader, click here to see the new theme I just put up! The theme is built for a portfolio (hence the name Portfolio Press), but I thought it was simple and nice and decided to use it. And it is DARK! Time for a little change! Edit: I just noticed that it looks a bit odd here and there, especially in IE.